Flurry O' Fury

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

As a result of Katrina, Rebecca totally freaks out whenever she hears that a tropical depression has formed somewhere. In an effort to alleviate her fears, I went shopping today to assemble a disaster preparedness kit for our home. I feel certain that we will be able to weather any storm with the following items:

12 gallons of water
20 D batteries
Clean socks
Scooby Doo flashlight
Duct tape
Moist towelettes
Case of Blueberry Pop-Tarts
Beef jerky, turkey jerky, mystery jerky (was on sale)
Flintstones chewable vitamins
Additional handgun, extra ammo
Pocket knife
First aid kit with Tylenol, Neosporin, KY Jelly
Stop, Drop, and Smurf: Papa Smurf’s Guide to Emergency Safety
Weather radio
Assorted handguns, throwing stars
Bush/Cheney campaign sign (to signal first responders)

As you can see, I have only stocked the essentials. Unfortunately, we only have enough to provide for ourselves, so any friends or neighbors seeking assistance will be shot at. I want everyone to remember that safety always comes first, and in any emergency, it would be safest for you to stay the hell away from me.


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