Flurry O' Fury

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

We went out to eat tonight and had the misfortune of sitting in a booth next to a 3 year old kid and his oblivious #$%hole parents. Junior started off by pounding the back of my seat, then proceeded to stand up on his booth, turn around, and stare over my shoulder while alternating between giggling, squealing, and screeching. And his oblivious #$%hole parents? They were surprising oblivious to his behavior, which makes them #$%holes in my book - #$%*suckers too.

Seeing that I was about to explode, Rebecca promptly asked the waiter if we could switch to another table.

“It’s cold over here”, she said.
“Yeah, and this little animal is behind me”, I added while gesturing at Junior.

Junior’s oblivious #$%hole #$%*sucking mother did speak up at that point, asking him to sit down. Her remarkable parenting skills were able to suppress him for a full four minutes before he starting running laps around the restaurant and screaming, like field day at Neverland Ranch.

I know that I don’t frequent a lot of five-star restaurants, but still, I shouldn’t have to deal with somebody’s kid at dinner unless I’m at Mickey D’s or Chuck E. Cheese. To me, any place that has a full bar, like this place had, should not double as a jungle gym (unless it's the Jungle Club on I-45, which is swinging).

If your kid won’t sit still, then take him someplace that has a playground. Or leave him at home with a sitter. Or order something in. Or shove 10 grams of Flintstones chewable Ritalin down his throat – I don’t #$%*ing care. Just keep him from kicking my seat and screaming in my ear while I’m trying to eat.


  • At 8:39 AM, Blogger Mayur said…

    I don’t think you’re ready to have hypothetical kids. :)

  • At 6:21 PM, Blogger Jim said…

    I think I'm going to give you guys a gift certificate to Chuck E. Cheese


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